So, during this hiatus of the last few months, folks have asked about my writing. The truth is, I hadn't stopped writing at all; I'd merely stopped taking the time and concentration required to publish. (Some scribblings in my journal tend to be more effortless than making sense of things for readers, working to protect the privacy of others, and providing references and notes to back what I've written.) But the writing has continued, often times in the form of prayers. For instance, today's was this:
Good morning, Jesus. Thank You for the morning, my favorite time of day --so many possibilities and the clock is set to zero: all day to do what I need to do, what I want to get done. Now, if I can just give that to You, if morning can become an empty slate rather than an overflowing list of things to do, if I can accept the "failures" that will come as eagerly as I accept the "victories." If I can breathe You in from the time the first light peeks through the trees until my head sinks into my pillow and my eyelids fall like lead; if I can listen instead of talk, follow instead of lead (or so I think), obey humbly instead of trying to do this one last thing... If I would set my love on You, know Your name, and call on You, the intentions that fill the morning to its brim would not be the defeats that keep me awake at night, the troubles of tomorrow would not taunt me today, the tasks --or, even, the task-- I accomplish today will be well won, for I will have done as You will, I will have given what You are due: all of time.
I love morning, I really do. Things start off slowly, peacefully. I spend my time listening to the Lord. I plan the things I'd like to accomplish I over plan a bunch of stuff. And the clock-watching begins. My heart begins to race. My jaw tenses. I rework the plan, shaving off seconds here, cutting some details there. The list even gets longer when I realize just how much time I can save! But the slow, the peace, the listening evaporates with the morning dew. Possibilities become burdens. The clock set to zero sneers at me with each second that ticks off. I am no longer the master of my schedule, I am its slave; I am ruled by time.
We were never meant to be ruled by anything but the Peace of God, Jesus Christ. How foolish of us to be controlled by something that was given to us as a gift: time, opportunities! We are God's masterpiece, and He has set aside plenty for us to do --good things. We are to walk in them, not by them or for them, but in the way of good deeds that God has planned. Walking, as God walked in the Garden of Eden. Can you picture Him running through, looking for Adam, not finding him, and thinking, "I don't have time for this. I'll have to try back later." Walking as Christ walked to Calvary: slowly, even stumbling, with every ounce of energy He had, wracked with pain, but wholly obedient.
I pray we all give Him His due today and every day.
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