Are You In a Relationship?

Our neighbor's son stopped by for a visit yesterday. Such a tall, handsome young man he has grown to be! He has a family of his own, and they had just come from having his daughter's portrait taken to celebrate her second birthday. Despite the rolling of his eyes and the snarky way he rattled off the cost, he was so proud. It was written all over his face. The little boy who lived next door is now a loving husband and doting father. How silly it would have been for me to hand him a freeze pop and tell him to "sit right there on the step and eat it so he didn't get it all over his good clothes." I still see shadows of that little boy, but it would be wrong of me to ignore who he has become. The way I relate to him has to change, because he has changed.

There is an excellent online course, The Genesis Story: Reading Biblical Narratives with Dr. Justin A. Jackson (Hillsdale College offers free online courses). Dr. Jackson observes, the word "man" was not used until Adam identified Eve as "woman." 

"The man-person said, 'At last! This is bone from my bone and flesh from my flesh. She is to be called Woman [Hebrew: ishah], because she was taken out of Man [Hebrew: ish].'" (Genesis 2:23)

Until there was another, Adam was just a being --what sort of being, he did not necessarily know. When he was able to see himself reflected in the presence of another, he could put a name on it. When we look into the face of another, we might see affection or hope --or even the value of time as years pass too quickly-- but we also see ourselves. We can accurately assess ourselves through relationships with others. Did I show this person mercy? Am I merciful? Did I speak an encouraging word over this person? Can I be more of an encourager? Did I forgive? Do I need to be gracious? Relationship defines us.

Imagine that sweet little two-year old, squealing with delight as she runs across the yard, away from her father's arms. Her father chases and plays, encouraging her playfulness. Now imagine that same little child breaking free from her father's grip and heading toward a busy street. Her father would give chase, but this time with an urgency, a desire to protect a child who has no idea the peril she is in. It is in that relationship with her, based solely on her needs, that the father becomes the father God intended for him to be-- playmate or protector: the administrator of abandonment and joy, or the administrator of structure and boundaries.  

The earth was good, time was good, the creatures were good, natural law was good, human life was very good. What was not good was human life alone. Was Adam alone? He had God --what better relationship could there be? But, human beings are physical beings as well as spiritual beings; that's how God designed us to be. Therefore, we need the relationship of other physical beings to give our lives meaning. Not that those relationships are the meaning; not that our lives have no meaning absent those relationships, but it is through those relationships that our lives take on some sort of definition: mother, father, husband, wife, friend, servant, supervisor, pastor, benefactor, beneficiary. We reveal who we are by how we interact with others. Relationship is the springboard for becoming who God designed us to be. It begins with our relationship with Him, but it manifests itself when we look into the eyes of others and see them for who they are.

What Did Jesus Do?

WWJD. What Would Jesus Do? Have you ever seen those bracelets or bumper stickers? That campaign spread like wildfire in its day. It was an interesting premise: you live your life like the Lord Jesus would. You make decisions based on what you think Jesus would do. Sort of like Jiminy Cricket and Always let your conscience be your guide, but with a biblical slant. But, it sometimes gave a false impression: Oh, So-and-So was wearing a WWJD lanyard; she's a Christian. Umm, no. And I'm not sure it really led anyone to commit to a relationship with Jesus, just imitate Him. I grew up watching Rich Little. He could do some amazing impersonations of other stars, but I'm not sure he had loving, committed relationships with each and every one. If he did, he was one busy guy! There's a distinct difference between mimicking someone's behavior and knowing that they love you so much they are willing to pull you up to be all they know you can be. More important than asking What Would Jesus Do?, I think we need to challenge people to answer the question, What DID Jesus do? 

When Scott and I began dating, I was emerging from one of the worst periods of my life: suicidal ideations, depression, bulimia, domestic abuse, alcohol abuse. I was a hot mess, but he saw something in me, something that made me want to be what he saw. I didn't simply want to bring his vision to life, to imitate the character he imagined; I wanted to become the diamond he already saw under all that rock. He called me "Beautiful," and I wanted to be a more beautiful person. He called me smart and loving, and I wanted to be those things. And it was because of the way he built me up --not just with vain words or flattery, but with a clear vision into who I was under all that gunk-- that I fell in love with him and I feel more in love with Jesus. I could see Jesus in him because that's what Jesus does.

Jesus gave His life so that we can have an eternal life, not just with an eye on "never ending," but an eye on "forever." Living in such a way as to do the things that will last forever. Living in such a way as to make a difference forever. Living in such a way as to celebrate and enjoy all we are given forever. Living in such a way that the eternal characteristics of Jesus' life are recreated in the way we live today. Living in such a way as to bring others into seeking a forever life. Living in such a way that, like ripples on the water when a pebble is cast, our love, our life, our kindness, our joy go on forever because of Jesus. He calls us to more because He called us to forever. That's what Jesus did.

Open to Obedience

Last week I thought I heard a door close. Veeeery softly. Something I'd been wanting, something I thought was sure to happen didn't. The voice on the other end of the line simply faded into cellular oblivion. 

I was disappointed.

Yesterday I heard a door SLAM! It was a big noise. The thing I wanted so badly, the thing I'd worked so hard to bring to fruition was not to be. 

I was angry.

This morning God awakened me early. There was a restlessness. Staring at the darkened windows, wondering if God would allow me to close my eyes for a few more hours. Nope. He had something to say. So, down the stairs I went. 

What did I ask you to do? He queried.

Immediately I knew where He was going with this. I knew what He had said, three simple words. I repeated them back to Him.

Did you do them?

I hadn't. He knew it. I knew it. I answered honestly.

Then you know why I shut those doors.

And I did. God was shutting doors because I wasn't obeying. God was shutting doors because I was taking matters into my own hands when I should have been trusting Him. God was shutting doors because I was working my own plan instead of following His plan. God was shutting doors because I was allowing the cries of my own fears to drown out the peaceful lullaby of His faithfulness. God was shutting doors because I was stepping on His toes, trying to do His job, and robbing Him of His glory. 

The same merciful God who cast Adam and Eve from the garden to protect them from living forever in their sinful condition, shuts doors for us, too. To protect us from failure. To protect us from following paths of self-adoration and self-sufficiency. To protect us from disobedience. To protect us from listening to the lies of fear. To give us a greater good and a role in establishing His glory. To turn us toward a place He has prepared for us, where we will see doors begin to open.

God Is There

How many times have you heard (or read or watched) the account of Creation? More times than you can count? That may be true of many of us. You might even know the first several verses of Genesis by heart. Even if you don't, you won't have to go very far to have your mind completely blown by the magnitude and grace of God the Creator.

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And the earth was without form. and void..."

~ Genesis 1:1-2a

In Robert Alter's translation of the Book of Genesis, he describes the "without form, and void" part as welter and waste, meaning chaos, turmoil, and nothing of any substance as from which to create anything. The Hebrew is tohu wa bohu, a term that indicates emptiness and futility; as in, it would be pointless to try to create something because there is nothing from which to begin. The Latin term for this is ex nihilo, out of nothing. 

Imagine nothing for a moment. You can't do it, can you? Try again. Nope! That growl in your stomach? It's still holding a place for something. The "0" on the scoreboard during Monday night's game? Still something. We can't imagine nothing because all we've ever known is something. We have never been without creation or its Creator. All we have ever known is somethingness and order: seasons, the sun rising and setting every day, seeds growing the same plant from which the fruit and seed come, human metabolism. We have never known complete formlessness and void the likes of which God has known. Even on our worst day. In the nothingness and confusion of losing a child, in the turmoil and confusion of divorce, in the welter and waste of a tragic car accident, in the tohu wa bohu of Alzheimer's, God is there. Is He afraid or intimidated? No. God speaks. God gets busy. God takes the chaos and disorder and subdues it, just as He did that first day. God takes the emptiness and futility and places it under His authority, just as He did that first day. God takes the nothingness and forces it to become something. He says to the welter and waste, "You no longer have a place here. Here is where time and light belong. Here is where life and beauty are given breath. Here there will be somethingness and regularity. Here it will be good. Here it will be for My glory!"

God's power and love --His powerful love, love that brings everything to be from absolute nothing, was manifested that first day. And is at work still today.