The other morning was beautiful -- cool, sunny, just a bit of a breeze. Ideal weather to enjoy my coffee on the deck. I hastily threw on some clothes and headed out the door. As I looked down at my ensemble, I realized how crazy it looked. Torn, worn and thoroughly faded shorts paired with a classic, almost new designer sweater. As I soaked in every minute of daybreak, I began to consider how my old, worn habits and dispositions exist right alongside (sometimes in spite of) the new nature created in me by a holy Designer. I long to humbly, sweetly surrender all God has given me and all I am in order to bring Him glory, but I cannot say I always, in all ways do. The same person who so reverently, completely worships in times of quiet, is the same person who sulks about which movie we're watching, or grumbles about the sale item that isn't available, or lays on the horn when the driver ahead should have purchased a map. The mother who urges, "Just talk to me when you're having trouble," is the same woman who strokes out when presented with a note for summer school.
The enemy loves to use such contradictions for his glory. "Everyone knows who you are," he whispers; "Everyone knows you're damaged. How can they take 'your Gospel' seriously?" Or, "You call yourself a Christian?" he asks; "You gossiped after church on Sunday! Are you sure you're even saved?" He wants you to feel hypocritical. He wants you to be ashamed, stuff your rebel heart deep down into your biker boots and deny it's there. He wants you to don that shirt and tie, polish up your image, look the part, all the while missing God's grace. Eaten up by self-condemnation or lost in your own righteous -- either end serves his ambition.
I remember a few "exclusive" restaurants from my childhood. "JACKET AND TIE REQUIRED." My dad would show up in polyester pants and a knit shirt. The maitre d would wordlessly hand him a used sport coat and outdated tie. Dad would fulfill the requirements, but everyone could tell he really didn't belong. Satan wants you to think that about your shortcomings, your failures, even your out and out sins. He tells you they cannot be fixed or forgiven. He tells you everyone can see you don't belong. Or he tells you your new jacket and tie look great -- "Love the work you've done on yourself, Kiddo! You have arrived."
But nothing is hidden from God. He can use my mistrust of authority to magnify His name as I challenge systems and advocate for those who cannot do it themselves. My inner passion for unbridled fun? God has claimed it that I might understand another's desire to walk on the wild side and steer them away from the pitfalls. The scars from my past remind me of Jesus' healing and urge me to pass that message on to others. God has used former inmates to develop successful prison ministries and atheists to teach Apologetics at Christian Universities. God can and does use the corruption of this life for His glory and our good. He is not intimidated by rough edges and apparent contradictions in us; He sees our hearts and is able to use it all or change it all. He promises beauty for ashes. Those things that appear paradoxical, God can work and weave into an amazing tapestry of glory and light for His name's sake. All the while, His Spirit works to sanctify us and transform us to more closely resemble Himself. We are not schizophrenic accidents or hypocritical pharisees; we are fearfully and wonderfully made by Almighty God, but born with sinful human natures, but redeemed by a prefect Lord and Savior, but living in a fallen world.
Our surrender to His work is key, however. In humility and honesty, we must bring all we have before the Lord and acknowledge Him as King over all. We must lay our trash before Him that He might repurpose it all for Kingdom treasure. We must stand before Him, just as we are -- in shorts, or sweaters, or both -- and be His, surrendered to His design.
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