A Quiet Place of Grace

Early one morning, I found myself sitting in my truck alongside a dark, winding airport road. I'd called roadside service and received the usual song and dance about extremely high caller volume and abnormally long wait times. I didn't believe it. I've gotten a lot of use out of my membership through the years, and never waited more than an hour. So, at first, I sort of did nothing -- filed a rough fingernail, checked out the contents of my glove box, listened to the sounds of the road. But time went on, and I began to think, maybe there was something to this whole "abnormally long wait time" thing.

Why was I here? Why, just two miles down the road, were my coworkers doing something -- my work -- yet I was doing nothing? Why had I gotten dressed, out the door, wasted fuel, only to sit here? What would I do if I needed a bathroom? Questions I couldn't answer or, in the case of the last one, didn't want to think about. So, I began to pray. When I'm having trouble going to sleep some nights, I pray the alphabet. I begin with one friend or situation starting with "A", and keep on going, letter by letter, until I fall asleep. (If your name is Vivian or Zelda, I apologize; I rarely make it past "G".) This morning I made it all the way to "Z", and still no tow.

Every life, every season needs prayer, but this season of our life seems to require more than others. So, I began praying specifically for our situation, the folks directly affected in it, those we have met along the way, those who will be involved in the future, and so forth. When I got to some personal things, I asked that God would not allow others to see my failures and shortcomings, that they would not be dissuaded from following the Lord because of my screw-ups. "Hide my inadequacy that You might be better glorified and many would come to know You." God responded faster than that tow!

Through the darkness of my situation, above the chirp of crickets I heard the words of Paul:

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'"  -- 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Had Paul prayed as I had? Was he asking God to remove his "thorn in the flesh" not that he might be more comfortable or carry on the ministry with more vigor, but that others might not see his weakness or deficiency and reject God because of it?

I know what it's like to live with hypocrisy. My children know what it's like to live with hypocrisy. And it can be devastating to the truth of the gospel. I'm sure Paul, as a former Pharisee, was extremely sensitive to pietism -- especially his own. I'm sure he would rather have lost a limb than known a soul was repulsed because of any perceived duplicity or incongruency on his part. What if Paul had a tendency to be persistent when the situation required a bit more compassion? What if Paul's patience was perceived by others as being "soft" on bad behavior -- tolerant even? Perhaps Paul was a bit of an over eater. Imagine how such a habit might have plagued him to the point of begging God to remove it -- for the sake of the gospel. But God said, "No."

It's not about me. Or my inadequacy. Or even my sin. It's about the grace of God revealed in our worst moments as well as our best. If others can see what a control freak I can be at times and know that Jesus loves me enough to put me in situations that are completely out of my control in order to make me more like Him -- who wouldn't want to follow a Savior like that?! If others know how arrogant I can be and witness God humbling me -- and hear testimony of how He continues to humble me -- that I might be the "me" He designed with a purpose -- who wouldn't want to know a God like that?

We may not like our fear of public speaking, or our ineptitude at providing comfort to the grieving, or our short tempers, or our impatience, or our propensity to procrastinate, or any of a multitude of things that discourage us in our ministry, but God is not finished with any one of us yet. He is sanctifying us as we daily relinquish control to Him. He is transforming us as we seek after Him moment by moment. He is speaking to us and teaching us as we pray and sit silently before Him. Along a dark, winding airport road if necessary.

Are You Striving for Normal?

A few short years into my illustrious management career, I had an employee call out of work. He wasn't sick, he just wasn't going to be at work because he had to go to prayer meeting. I remember being incensed. "That's what's wrong with most 'Christians.' They want to use the name of God to excuse bad behavior. His shift starts in thirty minutes, and no one has prayer meeting at 7 AM! Who calls in praying?!" My rant that morning has remained with me; my previous opinions have not.

As his supervisor, I had an obligation to address this man's attendance and review proper procedures, if necessary. But judge his Christianity? Nope. If he lied, if he used poor judgement, that's between him and his Master. (And I don't mean as Christian brothers and sisters we ignore the sins or risky behavior of others; but we do lovingly address them if we have opportunity.) The way he exercised his faith was not my call. What if he had just received word of a special gathering to pray for an urgent need, and felt it necessary to be there? Would he have been a "better Christian" if he had said he was sick instead? His call stood out that morning -- it was almost thirty years ago, and I remember it as though it were yesterday -- and perhaps, as Christians we are meant to stand out.

I read somewhere that Christians shouldn't be "weird." We should let our light shine in a relevant and natural way. That, if we wish to be effective in ministry, people should have trouble distinguishing us from "regular" people. Wear yoga pants and get tattoos. Serve mixed drinks at Bible study. Throw in the occasional Top 40 song during morning worship.  Be cool so people will want to be like you. But is that really what Scripture says?

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." -- Romans 12:2 

"Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish, in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world," -- Philippians 2:14-15 

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." -- 1 Peter 2:9 

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world -- the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and the pride in possessions -- is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." -- 1 John 2:15-17

What about John the Baptist? Surely people recognized him wherever he went. Even Jesus' own behavior was extraordinary -- loving when He, by the world's standards, had every right to hate; remaining quiet when He could have not only defended Himself, but called heavenly hosts to slay His accusers. We are to be different. We are to be unique -- not for our own glory, but that others might see our devotion, our courage, our calm, our integrity, our perseverance, and want to be like the One who has transformed us. It's great to want to be relevant, but so much more important to be obedient.

Francis Chan, in his book, Crazy Love, speaks of a missionary who had his teeth pulled after a series of absences from the mission field to resolve dental issues. Who does that? Someone who is not afraid to be thought of as different or a little fanatical for the sake of the gospel.

I once saw a man who shaved only half his face. He was faithful in ministry, and God used this man's unique appearance to draw people to him. He had at first thought it strange himself, but received several indications from the Lord, this was what he was being called to do. He complied with no further consideration toward what people thought of him.

The truth is, we can be hip, freaky, or perfectly unremarkable, but without God's anointing, all we do, all we say, all we are won't guarantee a harvest. Without the blessing and direction of God's Holy Spirit, all our "relevancy" is nothing but our own effort to be what we think the world wants and needs. Shouldn't we be seeking that direction from the One who knows the hearts of all men? Shouldn't we strive to be obedient, even if it means being a little less conventional?