Thursday, April 26, 2018

Ten Years, and Still Going Strong!

Scott and I have a very important anniversary approaching. May 7th will mark ten of the most wonderful years as husband and wife!!! I am so excited!! Obviously, we want to commemorate it in some special way, so I was tossing about some options. I suggested a while back, we get new wedding bands. That idea couldn't have been met with more opposition if I'd tried to rip his finger off with his old band.

Scott wears his ring daily, as he cuts tile, hangs siding, pours concrete, muds drywall, frames out closets, and anything else he does through the course of his day. Outside of two surgeries, my band has never left my finger; through cleaning and cooking, painting and sanding, hours of typing and dog walking, it has remained. Our bands look like they have endured ten years of hard labor.

But I wanted a symbol of our marriage that shined like the sun! I wanted everyone to notice our bands and recognize we were one. I wanted to wear a work of art as unique and beautiful as our relationship. I wanted something new like the newness I feel every day I wake up with him in my life.

Scott? Well, there's a story behind our bands. He shares it proudly and often, while I keep it a precious secret, stored deeply within my heart. As far as he's concerned, to replace our bands would, in some way, replace the story or alter the last ten years, recorded in every scratch and gouge on those simple silver bands. Who can argue with that? So, I didn't.

I did, however, spend a lot of time thinking about the peaks and valleys, trials and victories, successes and failures, smiles and tears, times of clarity and confusion we have experienced over our ten years together. Each moment has passed with this ring on my finger (or on Scott's chain). We have these tiny, uncomplicated journals of silver; records of an enormous, sometimes very complicated life together. We have done it far more ugly than these beat up tokens could ever express! But we have done it together. It's hard to believe all that can be found on something less than an inch in diameter. But there it is.

OK, so maybe a cruise.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Welcome to the New Me!

Has your club or office ever done that "thing" where everyone brings in a baby picture, posts them on a board somewhere, and everyone is supposed to guess who is who? Maybe I'm dating myself. We don't even print pictures anymore; so do we do things like that anymore? Why was that so much fun? What is it about seeing our adult friends as they were when they were children? Why would someone sit next to in-laws for hours combing through old photos of their spouse? What is so fascinating about stealing a glimpse into someone's yesterdays?

My husband and I have been friends for about fourteen years; and while that seems like a pretty long time, we were complete strangers for many, many years before that. We can't always completely grasp who or how the other used to be. Although, I do have a distinct advantage. You see, Scott was a very different creature when we met. He was drinking heavily, struggling in many areas of his life, and burning the candle at both ends emotionally. But he possessed many sweet and wonderful qualities; I knew there was more to the story. He had grown up liking music, loving trucks, and being one hundred percent boy. He was the type of kid who needed someone to help him channel all that energy and attention into wiser and more productive pursuits. In short, he was -- just about -- the same person I met just a few years before we were wed.

And about that. Since we married, I have witnessed Scott becoming what God has destined him to be. And it has been a privilege and a joy! The man I knew, the man who would lose his mind at the slightest bit of traffic, who turned his back on people, and hadn't set foot in a church for more than weddings and funerals is so far from the one I share my life with now. I have been able to see who he was and who God is making him; I have seen that transformation from child to adult.

I suppose, if I hadn't had experienced his transformation for myself, I'd see Scott the way he sees me. He can't believe I was ever capable of any of the things I used to do. He sees me as some kind of "spiritual Level 5, 'cause of all the Bible you know." Sure, Scott has stood by, watching me change little by little as the Holy Spirit works in my life. But to see me as someone who has been in his shoes, who still struggles with some of the same things he struggles? Not a chance. And that's not a bad thing. What he sees is the progress of the Holy Spirit in my life. It's not a complete "Before and After", and I hope it will never be; but he sees today's "new me." And the fact he can't imagine anything else must mean he sees this "new me" often enough that, to him, it must be the normal me. That's progress. That's the Holy Spirit.

Progress encourages us. "If others can do it, so can I." Progress gives us a sense that things are improving and bringing forth good things. Who wants to be part of something stagnant and out of date? Progress gives us opportunity to praise God for His marvelous work. That's why it's important to us to look back momentarily, and celebrate how far we have come, how much we have learned, and all that God continues to do!

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." ~ 2 Corinthians 5:17