Fearlessness in All Things Big AND Small

://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61YY8emngPU

I just love this video. This is Bentley. Bentley has irrational fears of very common things: shiny floors, cords, reflections, hallways. All the things he might encounter on a typical day. When it comes to his best friend's helicopter, however, Bentley is fearless!

As I watched this video, it reminded me a bit of me. You see, I've done divorce, childhood abuse, car accidents, the rejection of my own children -- just to name a few. The "big" things are easy for me. After all, what am I going to do against cancer? So, I go to my prayer closet and lay it all before my best Friend, Jesus. And it's done with.

The little things, however? Bills that never seem to stop coming; the filthy bathrooms at work; the kind neighbor who, on a regular basis, feels compelled to park across my driveway; pen points that break, leaving half the ink in blobs on the pages of my journal and the other half in the tube I'm forced to throw in the trash. Little things. The crazy things that can set me to panic or cause me to completely lose my cool.

That is until a few short years ago, when all those little things -- "gnats", I call them -- seemed to have declared war on us. Day after day, they came. Maybe, collectively, I could see them as one big thing, and that sparked my surrender; but I finally did, I finally gave all those little things to Jesus. And, today, when those gnats begin to swarm, I stop swatting and start praying. Eventually, I'm just as content and undoubting sitting next to my best Friend as Bentley is with his.

Jesus, the Hero of Little Girls

I want to tell you a story. It's a good story, a happy story because, like most happy stories, there is a little girl and a Hero. Only, this story is more about our Hero, and less and less about the little girl.

Once upon a time, there was a Hero. He did not come from a land far away, or a certain place in time, as most little "h" heroes do. In fact, He created lands far away; He created time. And He created all little girls, even the little girl in our story. When He brought her into the world, He did not give her to a mommy and daddy who lived together and ate dinner together, a mommy and daddy who wanted to have a little girl of their own. The Hero gave the little girl to a mommy and daddy who didn't want a little girl -- or a little boy, for that matter. They weren't bad people. The Hero even loved them -- enough to give them a little girl. But they, like all of us, had choices to make, and they didn't always make good ones. And the little girl was the result of one such choice.

The little girl grew up normally enough, but she always yearned for a family where the mommy would look at the daddy with stars in her eyes, and laugh at his jokes. Where the daddy would treat the mommy like a queen and even spank the little girl if she was mean to the mommy. Where there wasn't always so much tension in their little house. What the little girl did not know, was that the mommy and the daddy had tried to fix the things they'd done wrong with lies and more mistakes. The same way we all have from time to time.

Soon there was a little boy. People would smile and laugh, and call them "a rich man's family." They posed for pictures and went to church and had two cars. Some days the daddy would feel quite lonely and overwhelmed and he would not come home. Some days the mommy would feel quite lonely and overwhelmed when the daddy did not come home. The daddy would leave the mommy, and the mommy would threaten to leave the little girl and her brother. Eventually, they were all quite lonely and overwhelmed. And everyone wanted to leave. Except the Hero -- do you remember Him? He was there all along.

The Hero wanted to help everyone in our story. Anyone who would come to Him, who would ask Him for help. So, the little girl asked, and our Hero did. But the little girl did not think she was a little girl anymore. She was tough and fiercely independent. She thought. As soon as our Hero helped her and she started feeling better, she would push Him away and do it herself. The Hero who loved her would never gain her trust; people she trusted betrayed her.

But the Hero never stopped showing her just how much He loved her. The Hero never stopped reminding her He was there. The Hero knew just how badly the little girl had been hurt inside; He knew she needed Him. He also knew she didn't know that yet. And despite the little girl's rejection and disrespect, He continued patiently, gently calling her. For years. And, one day, she came to Him.

That is why He is the Hero still today. Because He would have waited as long as the little girl lived. Because He treated her as if she'd been there all along. Because He is gentle enough to wrap His arms around a broken little girl and strong enough to build her into a courageous, faithful woman.

The End of The Beginning...

When Blessings Aren't Easy to Find

It is difficult to see some of the things we go through as blessings. In fact, I think it's one of those principles we, as believers, need to consciously practice. We have to purposely look for God's grace in bad situations; we have to intentionally say to ourselves, "God blessed me (this) way in this situation." Matthew Henry, Welsh theologian, practiced just such an outlook. Consider his words as he meditated on the theft of his wallet:

“Let me be thankful, first, because he never robbed me before; second, because although he took my purse, he did not take my life; third, because although he took all I possessed, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed, not I who robbed."

All too often, we spend the time grumbling or trying to figure out how we're going to get out of the current trial that's plaguing us. "Bad" is what we call the things that don't go our way; things for which we see no immediate benefit. "Good" is what God begins doing as soon as we allow Him to get His hands on our situation -- and us!

Years ago, as Mom's health began to decline, I began overseeing her personal affairs. Mom's judgment was showing signs of impairment, but it was my intent to allow her to remain in her home as long as it was safe for her to do so. Time and again she allowed people to move in, destroy her home, and use her as personal valet. I understood her desire to help, but the situation would eventually deteriorate, she would get upset, and I would be forced to remove her sponging tenants. Repeat cycle. Not only was this time-consuming, frustrating, painful, and expensive, these were family members and friends I was forever being called upon to evict! I was thrust into the role of "bad guy" and my relationships were being affected.

Fast forward to today. I am no longer called upon to be "the enforcer", but I am still entrenched in the contradiction and duplicity that is dementia. As a matter of fact, one day as I was feeling particularly frustrated with my new role, I whined, "I would give anything to be kicking people out of Mom's house again, to be fighting that battle rather than the one in which I'm currently engaged." The truth was, I was longing more for a time when Mom's house was alive; when Mom was present most of the time, and knew how to dress and when to dress, and could choose for herself what she wanted to eat; when Mom had something of her own, and could see and understand her purpose.

But, God is good, and merciful to fools like me. As I was throwing my little tantrum He whispered, "And what did you think of your situation then?" Well, I didn't think much of it, that's for sure. I complained, and I barreled my way through each day, never taking the time to thank God for the things my situation was not: Me, traveling miles across country to help her. (Mom and I had been neighbors for years!) Or, Mom being seriously injured, or losing her home to fire during all that drama. And what of thanking God for all my situation was? Mom had me to help her; she never once had to go it alone. Scott was there through all of it; he changed locks and repaired damage for every time I was forced to intervene. Blessing after blessing in the midst of all that chaos.

And so, here we are. The daily chaos of fighting to remove the wrong clothes just to put the right ones on. Or keeping her out of the snacks the minute I turn my back. Or the perpetual struggle to keep her hydrated. Or her inappropriate comments in the waiting room of the doctor's office. Or the tissues and napkins that she hoards like a nesting squirrel (which seems to make their way through the wash cycle no matter how many pockets I check). Do my blessings come to mind as readily as my battles? Does my song of blessing last as long as my wail of complaint? Am I consciously, purposely thanking God for all He is doing -- and not allowing -- in  our circumstances? Have I fully turned things over to Him in anticipation of the good He will do?

Who Is Better Than I? Everybody.

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Philippians 2:1-8. Maybe because it is such a challenge to me.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.

In other words,
IF:
I have been encouraged by being part of the body of Christ...
I have received any comfort by knowing how deep and how wide is Christ's love for me...
I have had an experience, a relationship with the Holy Spirit...

THEN:
...agree with one another in the body on our purpose -- to glorify God; our power -- Jesus Christ; our passion -- for one another because of our passion for Christ.
...be lowly of mind, humble as Christ.
...put others' interest first.
...consider others better than ourselves.

That. Is. Heavy. If any of the three qualifications above apply, we have an obligation to get along with others -- more than that -- consider others better than ourselves! But, how on earth -- this earth -- do we do that? How can we put others first when others are so selfish, annoying, inept, devious, inconsiderate,   (fill in the blank)  ?

There are some practical, behavioral things we can do, despite how we feel. We can actively look for others' talents and positive attributes. We can pray for them. We can let them "go first": hold the door, wave them forward, let them have the last piece of cake, let them sit in your seat or use your favorite pen. We can offer to help bear their burden. But how do we begin to really think that way? How do we believe in our hearts that others are better?

As we seek God, as we surrender to Him, He opens our eyes to all He has done for all those He loves (EVERYONE!), and He shows us our own faults and sins -- and how He has restored us (!!!). As we seek God, our hearts are humbled and our fears are removed. We rest in the assurance of all Jesus has done for us; and our future, which is held entirely by Him, is no longer a source of trepidation or stress. We do not need to scratch and claw our way over others to be the best or prove we are the best. We only want to prove Jesus is the best. We don't have to build walls of our own strength or pride that intimidate others and -- we believe -- keep hurt and failure at bay. We rest. In His strength. In His ability. In His plan. And we give Him all the glory! We are truly fearless! And we have nothing to lose!