Blessed by Stress

I sat down to write the other day. I had it all planned; I knew exactly what I wanted to say. By the time my fingertips hit the keys, my thoughts scattered and whorled like leaves in the wind. I just could not get my words to say what I meant; I could not stay on point. I pushed through. *Type, type, type. Delete, delete.* *Type. Delete.* Over and over, until it was finally complete. Nothing about it seemed right. Hours later, it was on my mind as I went to bed. I awakened an hour before my alarm, still thinking about my post. How could something that seemed like such a great idea turn out so poorly? How could something so important to me be so tedious to produce?

As I opened the pages of my journal, the words poured forth:

"God, You are in charge of it all; and You are worthy of, at least, my full attention, of all I can give. I am in a dark place; I am focused on me. That's one of the reasons I couldn't write yesterday. My writing is something You gave me, to bring attention to You. Instead, I focused on my design and execution. And now, in a way, I am focusing on my failure. The first thought to come to mind when I awakened was my failure. My failure was on my mind when I inhaled those carbs yesterday afternoon. My failure overshadows my even my mood at this moment."

And then, as if rising up from within me, this:

"The heavens declare the glory of God;And the firmament shows His handiwork.Day unto day utters speech,And night unto night reveals knowledge.There is no speech nor languageWhere their voice is not heard..."

I opened my Bible and began to write Psalm 19.

Even the heavens declare God's glory in a language all the world can understand. I had spent much of the day before stressing over words; words that, had I sought to bring glory to God, would have come forth in a language all could understand. The firmament rejoices in the seemingly mundane rising and setting of the sun, day after day -- because it is for the glory of the Lord God! I can rest in His authority, in His plan for me; I can trust the dominion of Almighty God. He is Lord, and His law is perfect, unwavering, unfailing; His judgments are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired than gold; sweeter than honey and the honeycomb. Authored and enforced in perfect wisdom, knowledge, and love! His plans and purposes are flawless. The Lord can keep me from dangers seen and unseen, from within and without. "Search me and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in Your way for all eternity." (Psalm 139:23-24)

God is worthy. Worthy to be praised. Worthy to be first and foremost on our minds. Worthy of our obedience and surrender in all we say, think, and do. In His great love, He gives us talents and opportunities to serve Him and bring glory to His name. In His great love, He stewards those talents and opportunities, even when we do not. As He did at Babel, I pray God would continue to confound my thoughts when they do not reflect His thoughts; I pray He would trouble my plans when they are not His plans. And I pray He would do the same for you.

So, You Want a Great Pastor

Like the superhero who does all he can to conceal his identity, our pastor, Bryan, is no different. His desire is that all who see him see Christ alone. He so seeks to mirror Christ in all he does, I cannot help but pray for him earnestly and often. And I know others do as well.

Our church has a men's fellowship, a Wednesday night Bible study, and a Friday night prayer gathering, all led by our pastor. In addition to Bryan having a full-time job outside of our church, running our fellowship's weekly meetings, and, of course, preaching every Sunday, he and his family live some twenty to twenty-five minutes away from our church, depending on traffic. That's a nice little ride, when you've worked an eight hour shift, grabbed a Chick-fil-A dinner, listened to a seemingly endless litany of prayer requests, politely entertained questions and complaints after the meeting, fixed the faucet in the men's room "since you've got your tools with you anyway", stopped for gas again, and now begin to make your way home. Our pastor has done this weekly. For years. And for free. Yeah, our pastor draws no salary from the church. Not for the scheduled stuff. Not for the emergencies.

The out of work man, awakened by his demons at 2 AM. Pastor goes to him. The family who suddenly loses a loved one. Without hesitation, our pastor is there. And the church brother rushed to the hospital, leaving his pets unfed? Within the hour, our pastor is serving German Shepherds and shoveling -- well, the aftermath. Bryan has cleaned gutters. He has kept watch with folks through long dark nights and frightening illnesses. He was Uber before Uber had its driver's license. He has delivered food and collected trash. Over and above what he does for his own family! 

And all with a servant's heart. Never have I heard him complain or brag. I've never heard a passive aggressive "Well, who else is gonna do it?", or a sarcastic "Sure! I've got plenty of time!" He is not a Type-A, looking for some busyness to fill every minute of his day; he is not a martyr or an attention hound. He has delegated and encouraged; he has sought input and advice; he has led with courage and consistency. He is a shepherd and a servant. And all he covets are our prayers -- and the ability to do all of this all the time.

Oh, and he's a great preacher, too! He treasures the Scriptures; and the time he spends in them is evidenced by his character, his ability to navigate God's word, and his zeal to share it. What a wonderful picture of Christ, right in our midst.

I hope you are blessed with a leader who practices what he preaches, as he preaches. Who seeks no attention for himself, but desires only that others see Christ. Who is willing to do all he can -- salary or no -- for Christ, and asks only that you pray for him. If that is not your situation, find such a pastor -- through your prayers and encouragement, you just might see he has been there all along.

Difficult Conversations

Happy Resurrection Day!

Strange as it may seem, I have been meditating on some prophetic and traditionally "Christmas" scriptures during this Lenten season. This morning I read Matthew 1:18-20:

"Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: After His mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Spirit. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man,and not wanting to make her a public example, was minded to put her away secretly. But while he thought about these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit."

Mary was found with child. She was pregnant. She knew it, and the next verse tells us Joseph knew it. Not until the angel appeared to him, did Joseph know it was of the Holy Spirit. So, Joseph finds out his betrothed, the woman promised to only him, the woman with whom he has never been intimate, is pregnant; then he finds out the circumstances! How did he learn of her pregnancy in the first place? Only one logical way -- from Mary, right? Maybe she told her parents, and they helped her out; her father sat down and had a heart-to-heart with Joseph. Maybe she told his parents, and his mom said, "Joseph, there is something you need to know..." A mutual friend? An attorney? A priest? I doubt it. I would think Mary handled this very delicate situation all by herself -- and with the Holy Spirit, of course.

I cannot imagine how she began that conversation. This young woman -- probably a teenager -- facing this man to whom she had been committed, who had promised to love and care for her -- not based on her performance, but she certainly was expected to hold up her end of the bargain -- namely, purity; this man who wielded the power to have her sent far away -- the most merciful solution -- or have her humiliated and stoned. But she did it. By God's grace, in His strength. She had that conversation. And I'm sure she did it with love and humility; gently, ever mindful of how this man must be feeling as she spoke each word. She had a very difficult, very necessary conversation.

This is Resurrection Sunday, the reason Jesus was born to this young woman almost 2000 years ago -- to transform the world through His life, death and resurrection! Those of us who believe are not to be the same as those who do not. We are to speak such a miraculous event with our changed lives. We are not to remain silent. We are to go into all the world and preach the good news. Sometimes that conversation is difficult to have. It is met with mockery or hate; it is met with firm rejection by someone you deeply love. Sometimes, you just can't seem to find the words; and sometimes it's our own fears and insecurities that hold us back from beginning the conversation in the first place. What conversation can be harder than the one had by a young girl in Nazareth so long ago?

I pray this Resurrection Sunday will not only be a cause for each of us to celebrate, but a way to tell others of our Reason for celebration, even if the conversation is difficult.