Thursday, February 1, 2018

Keys to a Better Relationship

Today I am making clams and linguine for Scott. It is one of his favorite meals. Who doesn't love to come home after a long day's work, and sit down to one of their favorites. Good thing for him, I get home from work first, and he doesn't cook. And it makes me happy to see him happy.

We are also planning a trip to see our grandchildren. My schedule is busy but pretty flexible; then there is Mom, and we have two dogs to consider; accommodations. But before all that, I talk to Scott. His schedule requires more attention than any other; plus, he is head of our household, and his input is usually quite useful -- he tends to have a bigger perspective than those of us in the trenches, so to speak.

A few weeks ago, my husband changed up some of the responsibilities typically held by the youngest of our children. As he explained what needed to be done, he also explained that I needed to be free of those things and that I should no longer think of myself as being responsible for them.

All of this to say, if marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with the Church -- and it is -- how is my relationship with Scott compared to my relationship with Christ? I mean, I can't always say I am as respectful to my husband as I am to the Lord, and I know there are plenty of other things that need improvement; but do I seek to please Jesus the way I seek to please my husband? Do I defer to Christ the same way I defer to Scott? Do I allow God to care for me the same way I have learned to allow Scott to care for me? Maybe I'm just a little backwards that way, but I sometimes think I treat Scott better than I treat my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Really! And I don't think I'm alone in that.

Take the linguine and clams, for instance. We've had pasta a few times in the last couple of weeks, so I wasn't sure if he'd be interested. "Would you like linguine and clams tomorrow, or are you all pasta'd out?" A simple question, but how often do I seriously, slowly, earnestly seek what God wants? Or do I just go ahead 'cause "God really likes this helping the poor thing." Well, sure He does; but that doesn't mean it's what He had planned for me that day.

And our trip. My primary consideration was Scott: his preferences, his plans, and his input. I didn't book a hotel, or put in for the days off; he was the first person I spoke to about my idea. I want to do what he wants and I want his insight. Can I say the same thing for my relationship with God? Do I like it when He puts the kibosh on my plans? Do I avoid asking Him to make sure He doesn't? Is He the first One I go to, or do I wait until I've hit some sort of roadblock, when I need His help bailing me out? "Bless my project, God."

And Scott's instructions to the youngest. In them, he not only gave her some more age-appropriate chores, and updated things to accommodate our current situation, but he set me free. They are no longer my responsibilities, and I don't have to hover just to be sure things are handled. How often have I prayed for something, and tried to "help it along"? Or I've "helped" someone to the point I hurt them because of my need to control or be the hero? Or I've turned a situation over to God, only to take it back later?

Pleasing God in the way He desires, making His plans my plans -- not the other way around, and walking in the freedom purchased for me at the cross. Sounds to me like some pretty solid relationship advice.

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