Dear Whomever,
You cannot change other people. You have some serious control issues if you are trying. The irony you don't see is that this situation is controlling you.
Sometimes people do not love you. This does not mean it is your fault. This does not mean you are ugly, bad, smelly, less than, without talent, a failure. This is just the way it is. Move on.
Sometimes people do not love you. This does not mean it is their fault. This does not mean they are cheating, mean, without character, better than you, indifferent. Sometimes it does. Move on.
You will regret this later. Your inability to let it go. Your setting fire to his underwear -- all of it. Your nights, and nights, and days, and days of crying, and worrying, and stalking, and plotting, and showing up at the same places as he, looking your best while he doesn't even notice -- are a waste of your precious life. And you will regret it.
Some parents should have never been. Manic relationships aren't defined by romantic affairs. If you are chasing a parent who simply doesn't want to be chased, or be a parent, stop. The affection or attention of others does not define you, and you shouldn't think that it does.
If you've ever said, "But I just want to know why?" Make that your last time. Chances are, you never will. Chances are, you won't accept it if you do.
Listen to people who love you, the ones who've never failed you before. They will be recognized by their ability to listen to you perpetually whine about the same things. They will be the ones who beg the police to release you to their custody, and make you promise you will never smash another windshield. And they will take you home and listen to you perpetually whine about the same things. They will also be the people who counsel you to do the hard things.
Lastly, feel sorry for those who reject you, because they don't have you. Feel happy for yourself, because hopefully, you still do.
Sincerely,
Been There
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