Friday, May 30, 2014


I can't sleep. I have to get up in five hours and what am I doing? Torturing the life out of people who can probably sleep just fine. Here's how that goes...

I make my first trip to the bathroom. Very quietly, of course, because I don't want to wake anyone.

I go back and lie down. I'm going to try to go to sleep, 'cause that's what I'm supposed to be doing, and that's what normal people do at this hour. But I can't. Maybe if I lie this way... Nope. If I just move my leg over -- ooh, sorry kicked ya. It's ok, it's ok; just-- ah, yeah, there ya go, back to sle... Man, I can't sleep!

This pillow is really hard. How can that be? I sleep with this pillow every night and I never realized how hard it is. Wait. Oh, uh. Yeah, that side's just as hard. What is up with this pillow?!

How can he just lie there, sleeping like that? He just got in bed. How is he sleeping? And he is soouund asleep, too! He's snoring! Do you hear that? He's snoring. How can he have just gotten in bed and be snoring already? This time I'm gonna kick him on purpose. Uuuh, huh? What? No, I'm sorry, Baby. I was asleep. No, go back to sleep.

I gotta go to the bathroom again. Might as well, I'm not sleeping anyway. AH! What the-- No, sorry, Baby. I stepped on a Lego. Nah, it's ok. Go back to sleep.

2:30. What am I doing up at 2:30? I'll call outa work. There's no way I'm going in; I haven't gotten a wink of sleep. I gotta go in. If I don't have that report on Carlson's desk by tomorrow-- The report! Did I enclose last week's figures. Crap! I gotta go check. But I can call out, right? I mean, after all, they don't really meet until Friday... No, I gotta check.

I wonder if he ate that egg roll. Hmmm... Hey, all right; it's still here. Tinkerbell! Go back to bed. You're not gettin' any. There's not enough egg roll in all of China for the two of us. Heh, heh, eggroll in Chi... *yawn*

Uuuuuhrrrr. I think that hit the spot. I just might be able to grab a coupla *yawn* hours of shut-eye before-- Ah, doggone it, the report. Where did I-- BACK. TO. BED. TINKERBELL! Must've left it upstairs.

AAH! SON OF A-- What are you doing?! No, I couldn't sleep so I was gonna-- Huh? No, I wasn't eating egg roll. No, no, I didn't mean to startle you. You startled me. Just go back to bed. I'll get the light. What? I love you, too. G'night.

Aw, Liv, what? No, no, it's ok. I just couldn't sleep, 'n when I was coming back up the stairs, Daddy was in the hall, 'n-- What? No, we can't *yawn* go to the movie tomorrow. We'll go Friday, all right? Huh? What? No, Baby I got her. She's fine. *yawn* Heard us, is all. Whaddya mean, you can't sleep? You were snoring like crazy a minute ago. You gotta *yawn* get some sleep. Liv, go *yawn* back to bed, Kiddo. Baby, why don't you try going back *yawn* to be-- Huh? But you were asleep. All right. Don't feed the dog any *yawn* thing this late a-- Oh. The egg roll? Yeah, about that...

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