Monday, June 27, 2011

24 Hours from "Normal"

This is not something I'm working toward, mind you -- this "normal" thing; this is something I thought I had.  Sometime around 7AM Sunday morning, "normal" took a vacation.

Last week was crazy.  I left work as early as I could each day to get home in time to grab a bite to eat, pick up Christine, and get to Vacation Bible School by 9.  I'd get home some time after noon -- sweaty, exhausted from the adrenaline rush I get whenever I teach folks about Jesus, and ravenous.  Grab a bite to eat again -- I'm not sure I actually tasted anything last week -- and try to get something else done.  My schedule, and the simple fact I was arriving home just as the three h's of summer were assaulting the Northeast each day, left me no time to walk Bonnie and Clyde.

So, Sunday morning seemed as good as any to get that in.  I'd promised the Dynamic Duo "next week will be normal."  I'll never be a prophet.

Long story short, two stir crazy dogs + one smug owner - regular discipline = disaster!  To say they didn't listen when I told them "no," to say they "ran away with me," would be two of 2011's grossest understatements, tantamount to "Senator Wiener should leave tweeting to the birds," and "Dallas Mavericks -- Unexpected NBA Champions."  I have more road rash on me than a seven-year old Ryan Sheckler.  I am swollen and sore; my body is only half as bruised as my ego.  I can't wash my hair by myself, I can't cook, I can't even floss.  My brain is on perpetual replay, reminding me how careless and stupid I was.  "What if I had...?" it says; "If only I'd..."  Someone once said, "Never put a question mark where God puts a period."  But when your own ignorance gets you where you are, there's really only one course of action -- Get smart, and FAST!  

Here's to "normal."