Thursday, September 15, 2011

'niyaS tsuJ

In a world where Kirstie Alley's weight loss, Charlie Sheen's meltdown, and Michael Vick's pants (or lack thereof) are headline news...

At the Walgreens checkout today:

"Would you like to buy some M&M's?"


"Would you like to donate a dollar to finding a cure for Diabetes?"

So, I can buy a bag of M&M's and a cure for Diabetes in the same transaction?  Thank you Walgreens!

In the Huffington Post:

"Michael Moore, Elisabeth Hasselbeck Clash Over Bin Laden Death On 'The View'"

What's next -- the Donner party for health code violations? or Elvis Presley for drug possession?  I mean, Bin Laden's dead.  We're gonna argue over whether a dead guy should have had a trial...  He is dead, right?

In my snail-mailbox:

This week alone, I have received five -- count 'em, five -- mailers from Chase, AmEx, and Bank of America begging for my business.  Have you received any of these?  Really, I doubt Kim Kardashian's wedding invites were any nicer.  Glossy, embossed envelopes cradling heavy-weight cardstock tri-folds that promise me the world at my fingertips if only I will indenture myself to their disseminators.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't these the same folks who received bailouts from the government a few years back? who sent their people on junkets and doled out huge bonuses? who are now spending more on fancy solicitations than I spent on my last automobile?

In my Elle magazine: 

Wrong of me, really, to single out Elle, but horoscopes...  How is it possible that every month I can meet the love of my life or get that big promotion I've "been dreaming of?"  What if I've already found the love of my life? or I haven't been dreaming of much of anything but Starbucks and Godiva Chocolates?

And how is it possible that my horrible-scope in one mag can warn me of "money troubles around the 15th," but another says to "look out for that big financial windfall around the middle of the month!"  Who writes this stuff?  Worse, who reads it?  I thought Miss Cleo had taught us all a lesson.

In my brain:

In a backwards society where we inject ourselves with botulism to look healthy, and we encourage people to be edgy -- that is, until they fall off -- then we castigate them, does it surprise anyone that we will give our credit card information via the internet to complete strangers, but family counselling is a multi-million dollar industry because we can't seem to communicate with -- or trust -- own family members?!

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