Thursday, July 7, 2011

Random and Inflammatory

Once again, in my quest for research I have uncovered even more randomness.  Behold, the complex inner-workings of my mind:

1)  Imagine your first experience with an infant -- better if it was your own child.  Remember freaking out, going in to the nursery to check if he/ she was still breathing?  Remember sterilizing everything?  Biting your lip and holding your breath whenever anyone held him/ her?  Glancing back at his/ her car seat a thousand times during a twenty-minute ride to the pediatricians?  Ignoring yentes who kept telling you to give him/ her cereal at bedtime so he'll sleep through the night?  Now imagine your name is Mary, or Joseph and, your son is the Creator of All Things.  No pressure there.

2)  Now remember your second child.  Licking off the pacifier before sticking it back in his/ her mouth?  Banging his/ her head on the roof of the car in haste to get him/ her in the car seat before your first child wet himself? Crashing out on the sofa in exhaustion while your four year old fed your youngest crayons? Begging the pediatrician to let you switch to cereal? Mary was a virgin for practical reasons, too.

3)  Found a cute website for parents, Sunday School teachers, those dealing with cancer in some way, those looking for inspiration, or anyone trying to avoid whatever else it is they're supposed to be doing:

4)  Ever notice a cliche' never helps...NEVER.

5)  My mother just said, "Never say 'never.'"

6)  One sure way to determine a true friend: She will discreetly step behind you, pull your black halter top up over your bright orange bra strap and pull your skirt back out of your pantyhose, enabling you to take communion without that strange draft you've been feeling.  (Saw it. No kidding.)

7)  To Be Filed With "Bloody Glove" and "Jesus Juice":  Though we may not like it, Casey Anthony was found Not Guilty (different than "is not guilty," BTW). But, like it or no, our legal system is based on evidence, thank God. Not only do I believe the jurors endured great personal hardship, and bore witness to horrific testimony, but they did an excellent job upholding our system of innocent until proven guilty. I've heard enough people passing judgment on these servants, and frankly I think it's as disgusting to publicly deride individuals who struggled to act according to the letter of the law, as it is for the perpetrator of such a heinous crime to walk the streets. 

Love, People, love.  Is it really that hard?
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