Sunday, May 1, 2011

Moments That Leave You Speechless (or perhaps, should)

On the road...
...the person directing traffic at a construction site directs you into those bright orange cones!

...the person in the left lane with his left turn signal blinking, makes a right. (and flips you off!)

At the store...
...the bill comes to $9.02, you give the cashier $10, fumble around for the extra 2 cents to make her life easier, and she hands you $1.98 change (?!)

...the item that went on sale yesterday is nowhere to be found; as the cashier hands you the raincheck you requested: "Here you go, but you can't use it at this store -- we don't even carry that product."

At work...
Me: "Feeders, Judi."
Caller: "Is there a management person there to help me, or is it just you?"
(I am management, by the way.  Can't imagine which of the two words I said was a sure indicator I was not.)

...your boorish co-worker tells you how rude and obnoxious the lady in the cafeteria is.

Me: "Car number 5-1-1-3-0-4?"
Driver: "No, 5-11-3-0-4."

Co-worker, with at least one degree: "How do you spell 'allegiance?'"
Me, the common haus frau: "A-L-L-E-G-I-A-N-C-E"
Co-worker: "Are you sure?"

At the library...
...your eight year old asks, "Why is he wearing a girl's sweater?" (and she's not using her library voice) :-{

At the bowling alley...
Cashier: "How many?'
Me: "Four games, three rentals."
Cashier: "Wait, wait, wait.  How many are bowling today?"
Me: "Four."
Cashier: "Do they all need shoes?"
Me: "No, three shoe rentals."
Cashier:  "So, four games, three rentals?"

At home...
Scott: "Babe, how do you spell 'straight?'"
Before I can answer, Madison: "Duh, S-T-R-I-A-T.  You don't even know how to spell straight?!"

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