Sunday, March 13, 2011

Hair's a Bit of Advice

Just the other day I was sitting in the hair salon, waiting for my color to “set.” There is virtually nothing as maddening to me as just sitting, so I picked up a magazine. In the “Letters” column, a reader had asked about her boyfriend’s aloofness – “He doesn’t ask about my day, or say kind things to me…”

“Oh, Girlfriend,” I thought, “take back your life, wish him the best, and move on before it’s too late.” This, of course, was the sage whisper of the Ghost of Christmas Past, and Easter Past, and Monday Past, and Tuesday Past, and so forth and so on. No offense intended, but that old saying about “teaching a pig to sing…?” It’s true. What a miserable life we are willing to lead simply for the sake of making things as we wish them to be.

My reverie was ended by the ringing of a kitchen timer, or in this case, a salon timer. I joined the World’s Best Stylist at the sink and we resumed our previous chatter. I love Marlene. She does exactly what I ask without a bunch of crap; she is talented and professional. I don’t have to listen to drama about her sister-in-law who “never chips-in as much as we do for my in-laws’ anniversary gift.” No whining about others “who don’t pull their weight around here,” or how “OMG, I got sooo drunk the other night…” None of that. Marlene is a great conversationalist, and she is one of the most intelligent, positive women I know. We talk about our problems, sure, but she’s not the type to be burdened by them, nor am I – anymore.

In fact, as I left the salon I was still smiling. We’d had a good time. Besides that, I had to appreciate how much my life has changed. For years I gravitated toward needy dysfunctional relationships – not because I genuinely wanted to help, or even could help, but because I wanted so desperately to be wanted. Once I began to measure my worth through God’s eyes, I began to seek out healthier, happier relationships. As a result, I am healthier and happier, and so are the people with whom I relate! Relinquishing my ridiculous efforts to be important in the lives of those around me, and instead, making Jesus supreme in my life has brought me true intimacy, perfect joy, and genuine acceptance.
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