Friday, April 16, 2010

10 Ways to Annoy Your Office Co-Workers

1.  Hide the filter basket to the coffee pot (the more obvious the location, the more it will annoy them when they discover it)

2.  Fill your co-worker's 365 Days of Sudoku desk calendar with random numbers, in pen

3.  Wear squeaky shoes, and make frequent trips to the copier

4.  To yourself, whistle "Deck the Halls" -- don't know what it is about that tune, it eventually has the same effect as acoustic bombardment techniques used on prisoners of war and is contagious, like yawning

4b. Yawn -- a lot

5.  Link all of the paper clips in their lap drawer together then weave them among the papers in the drawer

6.  Fill their email inbox with obnoxious ads for erectile dysfunction medication or emails from Nigerian princes

7.  Use the office microwave to cook popcorn -- for eight minutes

8.  Spend the entire day speaking with a Southern twang (once again, acoustic bombardment or contagion, depending on the mental stability of your audience)

8b. Yawn -- a lot more

9.  Quietly stand behind them humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" as they try to leave voice mails to department heads

10. Whenever a co-worker leaves their desk, lower their chair (consistency is the key on this one!)

Monday, April 12, 2010

A Word To the Wise Is Sufficient

I am a homeschooler, but I sometimes have my doubts as to whether I am doing an adequate job, much less a good one.  At the end of the year, when Christine and I sit across from her evaluator my confidence returns; looking over the field trips, classical readings, and test scores reminds me of the time and effort we have put into her education.  It reminds me, too of the fun we've had.  Christine and I share a special bond that I don't believe would exist had we not spent so many hours together talking, laughing and learning. 

Steven and I had the same relationship but somewhere along the line boundaries became blurred and he began to see me as his equal instead of his authority.  Even close relationships suffer when boundaries are not established or respected.  When Scott and I became parents together, we worked to reclaim some territory, but reclaiming territory is never as easy as just holding onto it in the first place; Steven's age and independence, plus a few well-meaning adults, aided and abetted his "escape" from true maturity.  Christine however, was stuck.  Praise God.  Together Scott and I have established clear boundaries for Christine -- boundaries she has grown to appreciate.  (Understand I AM NOT boasting, except in the power and grace of God for sending me a wonderful man like Scott, and for working with mercy and grace in our lives.)  She understands that boundaries help her grow and develop self-respect.  She understands that boundaries as a young adult will make her a better woman, mother, spouse, employee or employer; they will bring her success, whether they are boundaries she respects or boundaries she establishes.

This is something we are working hard to teach the younger children.  Joe, like Steven, has rejected our rules.  He doesn't like to eat what's on the table.  He doesn't like that he is no longer allowed to fall asleep to the television, or sit for hours in his room playing video games, or texting while it is "family time."  He doesn't like being told to shower regularly, or clean his room, or fold his clothes, or have compassion or charity toward others.  Joe likes it when it is all about Joe.  What he and those who would support his "game" fail to realize is, rules are all about Joe; they are all about what's best for him.  They are all about growing and developing him into a strong, independent, successful individual.  Those who try so hard to "protect" Joe from growing up do so selfishly -- keeping him a child, or currying his favor by capitulating to his every whim, or using him to fill the emptiness in their own lives.  Ask me how I know.  These are the same mistakes I made with Steven.  They say those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it; I am determined to learn, if not for myself, for the sake of my children and step-children.  I realize there may be only so much we can do to prevent Joe and his "sponsors" from making the same mistakes Steven and I made, but Scott and I know there is One greater than any rebellion and it is to Him we pray.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Goin' to the Dogs

Now it's not very often a sick dog proves to be a life lesson (unless you're reading Prov. 26:11) but unmistakable is the gurgling and heaving of a vomitting dog at 4 AM, and today my Bishop was "I want my mommy" sick.  He refused to go back to his bed, and spent the rest of the morning on a beach towel on the floor along my side of the bed.  Daylight brought another round of hurling, but eventually the antagonist was discovered.  My Moosey-Moose, as he is affectionately known, had eaten a sizeable portion of a rubber chew toy -- months ago!  This thing has been sitting in his belly for months, taking up space, wreaking havoc on his digestive system with no outward indications whatsoever!  It could have caused a fatal obstruction; it could have supressed his appetite to the point he stopped eating.  Praise God something triggered his body to eliminate it.

The Holy Spirit is a living trigger in the lives of those who know Jesus as Lord and Savior.  In fact, it is the Spirit that works in our hearts to draw us to the Savior and surrender all to Him.  The Holy Spirit can be that gnawing little voice that tells us our abundance comes directly from our Father and leads us to charity toward others.  The Spirit can strike us with prophetic words and power that produces healing, or unbridled exhuberance in our Lord's name.  Something, in this case the Holy Ghost, leads us in service to the Savior, and like Bishop, we will have no peace until the deed has been completed -- until the hungry are fed, the sin is surrendered, the Message is shared.

As a believer, I become "I want my Father" sick, with the Spirit drawing me to rest with Him and eliminate all those things that can defile me or make me spiritually ill.  The Holy Spirit is working in my life every day. I am convicted when I hurry through my quiet time with God in order to "get to work" on other things.  I am overjoyed at a $3.00 rebate on glass cleaner and anxiously put it in our charitable fund.  I seek to allow the Spirit to guide me when I write, even if it is just about dogs and grocery shopping.  I know it's the Holy Spirit, because without these "triggers" I know what type of person I would be and what types of things I would or would not be doing.  And those little things that never seemed to bother me before, but were slowly eating away at my spiritual well-being?  The Holy Ghost sees them and moves me to rid my life of them before they cause spiritual death.

By God's grace, Bishop will live to bark another day; by God's grace I will live to serve.