Monday, November 22, 2010

Ranting and Raving -- AGAIN

Wow.  Once again, so much time has passed -- more than I said I would allow, anyway.  The creative part of my brain has been on serious overload, and I am one of those people who, when overloaded, check out.  I put on my favorite mental PJ's, grab a pint of Flatline Fench Vanilla, and do nothing mentally but let all those neurons fire.  I allow all those thoughts, warped as some of the poor dears may be, to romp around the mental monkey bars while I wait until most of them go away; I pour my physical energy into basket weaving, ice sculpting, well-drilling -- anything other than what the little voices in my head are telling me to do.  Whatever thoughts are left after this cerebral shock and awe, I figure must be pretty important or, at least, like the cockroach, are strong enough to withstand any further purge --I may as well address them.

Like, Zahra Baker.  I stumbled across this story before it even hit most major outlets and, that day, it struck a cord with me.  Outside of the obvious horror and sadness of it all, outside of Zahra's genuine, warm, bonnie smile, I've not figured out yet, why?  Of all the tragedies suffered by all the "innocents," why did this one resonate so loudly for me?  But it's here; the thoughts are with me.  I'm just still sorting through them.

Then there's the "gay" thing.  Daily we are bombarded with stories about gays -- gay bashing, gay bullying, discrimination, gays in the military.  Now I read stories about the Methodist church refusing membership to a homosexual man and I think, "What are we doing?"  Joining the church is not the same as leading the church.  My membership in the Methodist church does not even "allow" me to vote, as there is no voting -- The Council chooses pastors!  In almost thirty years of membership I've gained, honestly, nothing from my "membership" except the dubious privilege of having personalized envelopes for my tithe!  Let me ask you this -- if a member of your church -- an active, tithing, serving member of your church calls you at 10PM, in tears, begging for you to speak with her husband who is sitting in front of her, revolver loaded, contemplating suicide, and God knows what else, children sleeping down the hall, and your answer to her is, "I can't -- I've injured my foot and, per doctor's orders must sit here with it propped up.  Don't you have Pastor ___'s phone number?" -- is that when you say, "But thank God, we don't allow gays up in here!!" or "But I do have those nifty envelopes!"?

Lastly, reality.  I can't say enough -- or little -- about the nonsense perpetrating as reality these days.  I see my daughters getting wide-eyed and "swoony" because of the adults (if you want to call them that) they're exposed to, who couldn't find a shred of responsibility in their debt-filled, designer lives with their GPS's.  I've seen both of my sons lost to instant gratification and "adults" who entertain it, encourage it, fund it -- then place a 911 to the "responsible, boring, mean" parent who will don their homemade cape, ride in on their ten-year-old, paid for horse, and fix things.  I'm angry, disgusted, and praying everyday for my children and their role models -- myself included.
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