Thursday, July 29, 2010

If You Can't Beat 'Em...

Some folks tell me I'm a little intense, somewhat intimidating and maybe even a little "hyper" from time to time.  I'll admit, when I am passionate about something I can be very goal-oriented and exclusive-- even when I'm passionately adverse to something.  And, maybe, sometimes I get my feathers ruffled just a little too easily, but is it any wonder...

For instance, one day I answered the phone at work with my usual greeting, "Philadelphia Feeders, Judi."  First words from this guy's mouth -- I kid you not -- "Is there a management person there, or just you tonight?"  Really ?  Wrong, on soo many levels!  First of all, could he really tell by my voice whether I am management or not?  I wanted to say, "Um, yeah, Minion.  I am the Regional Manager.  What now?!"  Secondly, "just you?"  He actually said that -- "just you."  OK.  "Fact is, Sir, it is just me here tonight, and -- Oh, my, the phones have started ringing off their hooks!  Why, look at that!  I'm going to have to put you on hold for a minute."  Two hours later...

Then there is the best question ever: "How do you spell [_____]?" (you fill in the blank)  Then: "Are you sure?"  Wait a minute, you didn't know how to spell it (you probably have a paper hanging on your wall with a few prestigious signatures and a fancy seal, and you're probably my boss, by the way) but now you want to question my answer.

Or the "paperless company" that requires me to print copies of reports I send out via email or complete on line.  Or the warranty on a sofa that doesn't cover a manufacturer's defect, but will cover damage that results from jumping on the furniture in golf cleats, launching it from a third story window, through a ring of fire and into a vat of mayonnaise.  Or the store that advertises the start of a sale on Sunday, but doesn't get their order in until Thursday.  Or the woman with the foo-foo dog that sees my two snarling, foaming, rearing meatheads and asks, "Safe to approach?"  (My answer is usually, "Well, it depends on what your goals are.")  Or any of the number of idiocies that seem to occur in any twenty-four hour period. 

Then again, considering we live in a world where Lindsay Lohan is headline news and reality TV is entertainment, maybe I should just set the Cruise Control and head to the back for a relaxing cup of coffee.    
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