Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Eat Mor Chikin'

I love Chick-Fil-A!  I even got one of those "copycat recipes" so I could make it at home.  All that stinking up my kitchen for nothing -- it still doesn't taste as good.  Since I can remember, Chick-Fil-A has passed out free samples to anyone within a three mile radius of the store -- "but only one per person."  You mean to tell me that on any given day, there are dozens of people in the mall who have never laid their underprivileged taste buds on the savory breading and juicy tenders that Chick-Fil-A has to offer?  Doubt it.  At the risk of sacrilege, how about five people?  Three?  Anyhow, Chick-Fil-A's generosity aside, I got to thinking what it would be like if other stores allowed you a sample of their wares in an effort to lure you into their capitalist clutches.

For instance, what if the local nail salon gave out samples?  Can you imagine approaching the store only to have a smiling Asian woman approach you with a fingernail in her hand?  Or maybe just a whiff of their latest OPI?

Worse than that -- our mall used to have a dental service!  Implants anyone?  "Unh-unh-unh, just one per person!"  Maybe you'd rather sample our latest extraction technique?

Shoestrings at Journeys, diamonds at Zales, pentagrams at Hot Topic, and minutes at Verizon (although that might be a little tough to pull off)!  Perhaps the folks at Hollister could give out one of their snooty looks, free to everyone.  Oh, they already do?  OK.  And they have special snooty looks reserved just for people who use the word "folks?"  Who knew? 

How many takers do you think Victoria's Secret would get?  Depending on the samples, probably way more than that poor guy in the stupid cow suit with lukewarm chicken chunks stuck between his hooves!

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