Friday, April 16, 2010

10 Ways to Annoy Your Office Co-Workers

1.  Hide the filter basket to the coffee pot (the more obvious the location, the more it will annoy them when they discover it)

2.  Fill your co-worker's 365 Days of Sudoku desk calendar with random numbers, in pen

3.  Wear squeaky shoes, and make frequent trips to the copier

4.  To yourself, whistle "Deck the Halls" -- don't know what it is about that tune, it eventually has the same effect as acoustic bombardment techniques used on prisoners of war and is contagious, like yawning

4b. Yawn -- a lot

5.  Link all of the paper clips in their lap drawer together then weave them among the papers in the drawer

6.  Fill their email inbox with obnoxious ads for erectile dysfunction medication or emails from Nigerian princes

7.  Use the office microwave to cook popcorn -- for eight minutes

8.  Spend the entire day speaking with a Southern twang (once again, acoustic bombardment or contagion, depending on the mental stability of your audience)

8b. Yawn -- a lot more

9.  Quietly stand behind them humming "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" as they try to leave voice mails to department heads

10. Whenever a co-worker leaves their desk, lower their chair (consistency is the key on this one!)
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